SOMMERFELD, PARAGUAY Residents of a small Mennonite town were sent into deep existential angst on Wednesday when a sign went up in town offering ‘Free Dance Lessons.’ “As a Mennonite I’m obligated to take anything […]
ALTONA, MB Three young Mennonites are in critical condition at the Altona Hospital this evening after a strip poker game went badly wrong. The local variation of the game requires participants to add layers of […]
STEINBACH, MB After numerous construction delays, the Manitoba burger chain Salisbury House has finally hit the big time and opened a branch in the small Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba, where Arnold F. Vogt, 81, had […]
GLENDALE, AZ Villainous NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has laid out plans to move every Manitoba Junior Hockey team, including the beloved Steinbach Pistons, to small towns throughout Arizona. “We’ve already ruined the NHL by placing […]
KITCHENER, ON A new study from the University of Kitchener suggests that Mennonites experience only slightly more guilt than their Roman Catholic counterparts. While both groups experience similar levels of guilt and shame on issues of food and […]
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