The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: August 2016

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Looming Postal Strike Causes Concern for Mennonites Trying to Communicate With Relatives

August 29, 2016 Andrew

With a Canada Post strike on the horizon, Canadian Mennonites are in a panic trying to figure just how on earth they’re going to communicate with their friends and relatives in distant locales. “I’ve heard some Mennonites have […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

Unger Conviction

Church Leaders Permit Waitresses to Work on Sundays

August 28, 2016 Andrew

KRONSGART, MB After lengthy deliberations, leaders of a local Mennonite church have decided that the day of rest need not apply to female restaurant servers. “Sunday is a day of rest,” explains Rev. John F. Stobbe […]

Unger Suspicion

French Police Arrest Mennonite Women for Not Dressing Sexy Enough at the Beach

August 26, 2016 Andrew

CANNES, FRANCE In an effort to enforce their arbitrary and inconsistent definition of secularism, the French government is now cracking down on Mennonite women who are “not dressed nearly sexy enough to be at the beach.” […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 
    December 14, 2018
  • Bump of Packed Down Snow at the End of Mr. Penner’s Driveway Declared Manitoba’s Highest Peak
    February 7, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Reluctantly Keeps Tacky Jesus Souvenir For Thirty Years
    January 25, 2019
  • The Most Famous People with Every Mennonite Surname
    July 24, 2024
  • McNally Robinson Assures Customers that No Books Will be Harmed During Andrew Unger’s Book Launch
    September 17, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved