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vladimir putin

Unger Suspicion

Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Hates and Distrusts Billionaires Sure Loves Billionaires

January 5, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area man Pat Dyck has had a strong distrust of billionaires for quite some time now. According to his frequent Facebook posts, billionaires are always up to no good, cannot be trusted, and […]

Unger & Thirst

Poutine Wins 5th Term with 88% of the Vote

March 22, 2024 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A box of delicious greasy poutine has won a whopping 88% of the popular vote this week, although some have doubts about the validity of the results. “I didn’t vote for poutine. My […]

Unger Games

Morrissey Spotted at NHL All-Star Game

February 5, 2023 Andrew

SUNRISE, FL Controversial British rocker Morrissey was spotted at the NHL All Star Game in Florida this weekend, where he picked up two assists and placed third in the slap shot competition. “Who would have […]

Unger Games

Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck

December 27, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]

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