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swimming

The Daily Bonnet

Grand Forks, North Dakota ‘Completely Overrun’ With Mennonites

March 29, 2017 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Due to Spring Break in Manitoba, the indoor waterslides at every single hotel in nearby Grand Forks were totally swamped with Mennonites this week. “They’re welcome to explore our city,” said Grand […]

Unger Games

Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits

September 1, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Just weeks after breaking Olympic records, world champion swimmer Michael Phelps was seen leisure swimming at the gravel pits just outside Grunthal, Manitoba. “He had a bit more of a beer belly then I […]

Unger Suspicion

French Police Arrest Mennonite Women for Not Dressing Sexy Enough at the Beach

August 26, 2016 Andrew

CANNES, FRANCE In an effort to enforce their arbitrary and inconsistent definition of secularism, the French government is now cracking down on Mennonite women who are “not dressed nearly sexy enough to be at the beach.” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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