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The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There was a buzz in the quilting room at South Kildonan MB this afternoon after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during an MCC bag sale […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026 Andrew

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

Unger Suspicion

Bargain-Hungry Shoppers Flock to the Wrong Hudson Bay

March 16, 2025 Andrew

CHURCHILL, MB With rumours swirling that Hudson Bay may be going into creditor protection and liquidating their assets, thousands of customers made the 1500 km trek from Winnipeg to get their hands on some amazing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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