The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

san francisco

Unger the Influence

Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians

June 5, 2025 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man Checks His Privilege Only to Have It Lost By American Airlines
    May 20, 2018
  • Steinbach Residents Excited for Opening of New Petting Zoo on Main Street
    May 6, 2018
  • Angry White Man Reports on All the Horrible Atrocities Facing Angry White Men These Days
    June 6, 2021
  • Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    July 30, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Arrested for Saying ‘Merry Christmas’
    December 24, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved