The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

rapture

Unger Conviction

Streets are So Empty that Mennonite Man Thinks He Missed the Rapture

April 10, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Mr. Loewen, 73, went for a Good Friday walk on Main Street Steinbach this afternoon and was suddenly struck with the greatest worry of his life. “Waut de schissjat? There isn’t […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture

February 25, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Under the leadership of controversial minister and self-proclaimed prophet Claas Epp, a fringe Mennonite sect from Southern Ontario has walked all the way from Leamington to Toronto to await the rapture. “My cousin […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rapture Occurs Just Before Newlyweds Have a Chance to Consummate the Marriage

September 10, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Every chaste young man’s biggest fear came true last night as Eric Dueck and Sarah Loewen were miraculously raptured just moments before they were able to consummate their marriage. “I just knew this […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates 40 Years of Marriage by Getting Separate Beds
    July 24, 2017
  • Top Ten Dangers of Living in a Mennonite Town
    November 7, 2018
  • Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos
    August 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger
    May 17, 2020
  • Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage
    October 16, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved