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oranges

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu

January 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local woman Diane Schmidt, 66, of Calgary was at her neighbourhood Humpty’s on Sunday morning for what she thought was a simple cup of coffee but instead became the most impressive marathon of […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Stocks Up On Discount Christmas Oranges For Next Year

January 1, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Harms, 71, of Chortitz is already stocking up on Mandarin oranges, pistachio pudding mix, salted peanuts and halva for next year’s Christmas celebration. “It’s absolute madness at the grocery store today,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Overdoses on Christmas Oranges

December 26, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local woman Mrs. Helen F. Gerbrandt, 76, of the Kleefeld area was hospitalized yesterday after consuming more than thirty Mandarin oranges in a single sitting. “She’s got way too much Vitamin C in her body,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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