The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

nafta

Unger the Influence

Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians

June 5, 2025 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Church Forms Committee Responsible for Forming Other Committees
    October 3, 2019
  • Steinbach Driver Given Five Demerits for ‘Driving Like a Steinbacher’
    September 26, 2020
  • Hottest Day in History Has Mr. Friesen Considering a Name Change
    July 8, 2023
  • CBS Airs New Show ‘The Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’
    April 22, 2020
  • Moving Day Quickly Devolves into Petty Competition to See Which Insecure Mennonite Man Can Carry the Most Boxes at Once
    May 20, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved