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martyrs mirror

Unger Conviction

New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Include Section on Minor Inconveniences Facing the Modern North American Church

November 30, 2020 Andrew

COLUMBUS, OH For centuries Thielman J. van Bright’s 17th century tome Martyrs Mirror or The Bloody Theater has preserved the horrific stories of martyrdom faced by Christians of the past. Now these tales of martyrs being burned […]

Unger Suspicion

Communist Takeover Complete After Local Man is Politely Asked to Put on a Mask

November 20, 2020 Andrew

SCHLAMMFELD, MB Local communists have declared complete and total victory over the resistant kulaks this week after successfully convincing some guy named Darryl from Schlammfeld to put on a mask. “At last, with this final […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Receives Most Romantic Birthday Present Ever!

February 22, 2020 Andrew

ALLENTOWN, PA After receiving nothing but kitchen utensils year after year, Mrs. Miller decided she’d hint to her husband that she wanted something a bit more romantic for her 45th birthday this year. “And, boy, […]

Unger Suspicion

Hillary Clinton Describes Her ‘Tragic Martyrdom’ in New Book

September 21, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Less than a year after having the Presidential election brutally ripped from her grasp by the villainous Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton has churned out a brand new book that explains, in vivid […]

Unger Suspicion

New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Feature Duck Dynasty Cast Members

June 30, 2016 Andrew

LAMPETER SQUARE, PA Highly revered as a sacred document of Anabaptist martyrdom throughout history, the 17th century book ‘Martyrs Mirror’ is to be updated to include modern martyrdoms like the time the guy from Duck […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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