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fall

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Can Finally Start Her Christmas Shopping Now That It’s Snowed

November 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This is the latest start to Christmas shopping ever for area woman Jessica Fehr. But there was just enough snow this week that Fehr was able to commence the journey. “Dietja,” said Fehr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Approved Halloween Costumes for Mennonites

October 30, 2024 Andrew

Of course, here in Steinbach, we don’t celebrate Halloween, but for city folks who are just pretending to be Mennonites, here are a few costume ideas for the big day. It’s always a risk anytime […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns

October 12, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local pumpkin farmer Ernie Wiebe, 53, is requiring customers to sign a waiver promising only to use his pumpkins to make pie. “I don’t want to see my pumpkins turned into Jack O’Lanterns,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hottest Ever September in Small Mennonite Town of Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg

October 5, 2024 Andrew

Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg, MB The weather station in Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg recorded the hottest September it the long and illustrious climate history of Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg. “We haven’t seen anything like this since our ancestors first moved to Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg almost 150 […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year

October 22, 2023 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The province of Manitoba has been in a state of complete shock for the past month as, for some strange reason, winter didn’t follow immediately after summer this year. “Orange leaves, temperate weather? […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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