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education

Unger the Influence

Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow

January 24, 2026 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite […]

Unger the Influence

Alberta Introduces New “School-Appropriate” Bibles Without ‘Song of Solomon’

July 11, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be […]

Unger Conviction

Bible College Now Offering Shorter 6-Month MRS Degree

March 13, 2025 Andrew

TWO MOUNTAINS, AB Two Mountains Bible College is pleased to announce that starting next year they’ll be offering a shorter MRS program that can be completed in just six months. “We found that not everyone […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Immersion School Opens This Fall

September 20, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There was a time when Mennonite children had their mouths washed out with soap anytime they uttered a hearty “waut es met die?” on the schoolyard. Things have changed, however, and now […]

Unger Conviction

Cellphone Ban Coming to Mennonite Churches this Fall

August 15, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a historic agreement, Mennonite denominations across the province have come together in a united front to ban all cellphones in church this fall. “Look we know the sermon’s boring, but we can’t […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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