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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Looks Exactly the Same in AI-Generated Historical Photos

December 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Irene Klassen of Steinbach was very excited about the new AI historic photo app her granddaughter Megan told her about. That is, until the results came in and all the photos looked […]

Unger Suspicion

CTV to Require All Women to Wear Modest Mennonite Head Coverings

August 29, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After apparently firing anchor Lisa LaFlamme for showcasing her stunning grey hair, the new white dude in charge of CTV News has decided to ban female employees from showing off any hair at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fully Vaccinated Mennonites Can Remove their Bonnets in Public

May 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference at the White House today President Joe Biden announced that starting next week fully-vaccinated Mennonites will be allowed to remove their bonnets in all public places. “And the men […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings

July 20, 2020 Andrew

QUEBEC CITY, QC After an outbreak of “uncontrolled sassiness,” the government of Quebec is trying to reign things in and is requiring all residents to humble themselves and wear traditional religious head coverings of some […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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