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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite College Students Crash ChatGPT by Requesting Too Many Hauerwas Essays All at Once

February 7, 2023 Andrew

HIEBERTFELD, SK Students at Mennonite colleges and universities nearly crashed the system this week by asking ChatGPT to create 5-page essays on the work of Stanley Hauerwas. “We had thousands of requests within minutes. It […]

Unger Conviction

Church Elders to Investigate Member’s Involvement in Wordle Cheating Scandal

February 6, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The posting of a “highly suspicious” Wordle score by Mrs. Lois Toews of Winkler has spurred on the church elders to investigate. “A 1/6? Seriously, a 1/6? I’ve never seen that in all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncle Henry Caught Shooting from the Front Line

November 24, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Uncle Henry has been arrested and is being held in the local Mennonite church basement this week after being caught shooting from the top of five-point zone. “I’ve always wondered how he got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

Unger Suspicion

Tom Brady Blames Loss on Regulation Size Footballs

February 5, 2018 Andrew

MINNEAPOLIS, MN New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady struggled to explain his team’s loss in Super Bowl LII last night, though after pressure from reporters, confessed he felt he was hampered by having to use […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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