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Unger & Thirst

Residents Asked to Cut Down Rhubarb Plants to Stop Attracting Hungry Mennonites

September 29, 2023 Andrew

BANFF, AB After 51-year-old Harry Fast was discovered in Mrs. Fehr’s rhubarb patch this weekend, residents of Banff, Alberta are being asked to remove plants that will attract hungry Mennonites. “It’s simply not safe to […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz

February 26, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites have been lined up outside the Altona Not-So-Famous Players Theatre this week to see Knackzoat Bear, a film loosely based on the true story of a Grizzly who consumed an entire bag […]

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  • Hypnotist Claims to Remove Mennonite Schmaunt Fat Cravings
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    February 3, 2023
  • Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’
    November 10, 2019
  • A List of Famous Dicks Who Are Not Mennonite
    February 17, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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