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autumn

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns

October 12, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local pumpkin farmer Ernie Wiebe, 53, is requiring customers to sign a waiver promising only to use his pumpkins to make pie. “I don’t want to see my pumpkins turned into Jack O’Lanterns,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year

October 22, 2023 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The province of Manitoba has been in a state of complete shock for the past month as, for some strange reason, winter didn’t follow immediately after summer this year. “Orange leaves, temperate weather? […]

Unger Suspicion

Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

September 23, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by […]

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More from the unger review

  • Local Abes Rush to Purchase Last Remaining Chocolate Letter A
    January 4, 2024
  • Cellphone Ban Coming to Mennonite Churches this Fall
    August 15, 2024
  • Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms
    March 18, 2018
  • Lucky Mennonite Man Has Meddachschlop on a Wednesday
    November 19, 2021
  • Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm
    October 25, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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