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The Daily Bonnet

Wall Family of La Crete Honoured to Have NYC Street Named After Them

April 5, 2025 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The Walls of way up in La Crete, Alberta attended a special ceremony in New York City this week as a prominent street in lower Manhattan was named in their honour. “Greetings […]

Unger Suspicion

Couple Who Never Left Resort for Even a Second Claim to Have “Visited Mexico”

April 4, 2025 Andrew

CANCUN, MEXICO Area couple Anne and Peter Bueckert were really excited to have an authentic Mexican experience this week, which is why they flew straight to Cancun, took the shuttle from the airport, and never […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Farmer Hires Pierre Poilievre to Count His Chickens Before they’re Hatched

April 2, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Area poultry producer Garth Broesky has reached out to Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre to come on down to Grunthal and help him count all his chickens before they’re hatched. “He was getting so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck

April 1, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]

Unger the Influence

Progressives Find Themselves in Awkward Position of Having to Say Nice Things About a Banker

March 31, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It came out of nowhere, but left-leaning liberals and progressives across Canada are suddenly huge fans of bankers. Banker-mania is sweeping the nation, some even going so far as sporting Mark Carney-inspired haircuts. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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