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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Enters Rehab with Waffle Addiction

August 1, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Residents are already calling him the ‘Amy Winehouse of Waffles,’ and after an entire weekend where he consumed more than three hundred waffles and fifteen gallons of white sauce, local man Arnold Warkentin […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Shunned for Marrying Outside Her Precise Denominational Affiliation

July 31, 2016 Andrew

BERGTHAL, MB Esther Brandt, 18, was shunned by her community and church this past week because she married outside the faith. Brandt grew up in the CMMC church, but her new husband, Johan Fast, is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Welcome to Steinbach, Parade Capital of Canada

July 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba, founded in 1874 by Russian Mennonites, has grown from a tiny village on an insignificant stony creek into a booming metropolis of nearly 15,000 people where anyone and everyone is free […]

Uncategorized

Mennonite Heritage Village Anticipates Thousands of Pokemon Go Players This Weekend

July 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite being particularly slow adopters of new technology, the Mennonites of Southeast Manitoba have not been immune to the Pokemon Go phenomenon. In fact, the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach, which hosts its […]

Unger Conviction

Area Church Votes to Become Gossip-Affirming

July 28, 2016 Andrew

BURWALDE, MB In a bold move of support and respect for the dozens of gossips in the congregation, North Burwalde Mennonite Church has become the last church in town to become officially “gossip-affirming.” “I know that everyone else […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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