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Unger & Thirst

Winkler Finally Embraces Sundae Shopping

August 20, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Winkler. After heated debate this week, Winkler city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Spotted Parachuting into Tofield, Alberta

August 19, 2025 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Conservative leader Pierre Poilievere has parachuted into the small Mennonite town of Tofield, Alberta this afternoon, where he landed just outside Tilly’s Family Dining. “We love a good aerial performance around here,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adidas Introduces New Mennonite Line

August 18, 2025 Andrew

HERZOGENAUROCH, GERMANY German athletic wear company Adidas has finally responded to the growing population of Aussiedler Mennonites in the country with the introduction of a new line of long denim skirts. “You can’t really play […]

Unger Suspicion

Wife to Warm Feet on Husband Tonight

August 17, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman Melissa Ens, 23, fully intends to warm her cold feet on any exposed part of her husband’s body tonight. “This is what he gets for cranking the air conditioning,” says Ens. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather in Steinbach for Annual Meeting of Double Cousins

August 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than three thousand people packed the picnic shelter at AD Penner Park in Steinbach this weekend for the annual gathering of double first cousins. “My mom and her two sisters each married […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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