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Unger Conviction

Church Dismantles Department of Sunday School Education, Citing High Cost of Flannelgraph Boards

March 25, 2025 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA The brand new pastor at North Harrisonburg Mennonite Church has taken the bold step of completely dismantling the entire Sunday school program, citing the high cost of flannelgraph boards, dry macaroni, and nontoxic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Really Looking Forward to Violating One of the Core Tenets of their Faith By Voting in Upcoming Election

March 23, 2025 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Thousands of Canadian Mennonites are really looking forward to ridding themselves of one of the foundational doctrines of their faith by voting in the upcoming federal election. “I guess it’s that time again,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year

March 22, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Millions of Canadians have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of beige season and its finally here. “I just love this time of year. The gravel, the stones, the garbage peeking out from under […]

Unger Conviction

Friendly Bulletins Welcome Lonely Hymnal

March 21, 2025 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB A pair of friendly bulletins were the first to volunteer when Pastor Bob hinted that someone needed to reach out and keep that lonely unused hymnal company. “We’re a welcoming church,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Carney’s Speech Rated Just 2% More Exciting than Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon

March 20, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB University of La Crete Sociologist Dr. Pete Peters, who has spent more than 30 years studying audience engagement with public speakers, has found that Mark Carney’s speeches are a full 2% more exciting […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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