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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB At faspa this week, James Dueck, 37, of Winkler scrambled out of the church gymnasium just as soon as he’d wolfed down his cheese curds and dills. The reason? He was sick and […]

Unger Suspicion

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Committed libertarian Rand Martens, 31, was walking home from his Dungeons and Dragons game this week when he found himself walking smack dab in the middle of a public sidewalk. “Oh, look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

Unger Games

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Days after announcing his retirement from hockey, Winnipeg Jets superstar Jonathan Toews made sure to get his name on the waiting list at Fernwood Place in Steinbach. “You can’t leave it until the […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

June 18, 2026 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BV Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team won a match at the World Cup for the first time in history, thus ballooning the number […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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