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The Daily Bonnet

Experts Warn Mennonites Against Using Homemade Eclipse Glasses

April 7, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Not wanting to shell out the cash for real eclipse glasses, thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have taken to crafting protective eyewear of their own. Peter Wiens of Leamington, for example, says […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Calendar Forces Mennonite Woman to Celebrate Something Called ‘Tartan Day’

April 6, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area woman Erin Loewen, 29, was intrigued this week as she noticed a black dot on today’s date in her iPhone calendar. “Funny, I don’t recall scheduling anything for today,” said Loewen. […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Man Still Sneaking Over to La Broquerie for Booze

April 5, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB He’s been doing it for decades and just because Steinbach now has a liquor store of its own, and has for several years already, doesn’t mean Mr. Koop will stop sneaking over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Prays So Long the Food Gets Cold

April 4, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mr. Gary Krahn set a new record in Swift Current this weekend by praying a full 2 hours and 15 minutes before the meal this Sunday afternoon. “Oba, he doesn’t need to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Make for Supper Tonight

April 2, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB When Earl Dueck was tasked with cooking supper tonight, he initially thought the planning would be easy. “All I know is it has to be good,” said Dueck. “We are having guests.” But […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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