SWIFT CURRENT, SK
Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week.
“Jauma, it looks like a harlot out there this evening,” said Pastor Ron. “What kind of an example is this sending to our young women?”
Pastor Ron immediately activated the prayer line and made sure no one looked into the sky after dark.
“We don’t want the young men out there with their telescopes trying to get a closer look,” said Ron. “I’m asking everyone at the EMBBC church to stay inside with the doors locked and the lights off. You know, like at Halloween.”
Anyone caught trying to get a glimpse will be forced to take a six month counselling course with Pastor Ron and his wife Susie.
Susie will take part in the sessions, but says she doesn’t quite agree with her husband.
“To be honest, I really don’t know what the big deal is,” said Susie. “When I looked into the night sky the other day, it was like I was looking into a mirror.”