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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch

June 12, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After more than four decades in southern California, the popular game show Wheel of Fortune will be moving north to Fresno this week where the new host will be none other than Willy […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man’s Entire Job Consists of Deleting Stupid Irrelevant Emails

June 10, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB 100% of area man Jeremy Goertzen’s 9 to 5 office job consists of looking through his emails and deleting all the crap. “I don’t do anything else,” said Goertzen, from his Calgary-area office […]

Unger Suspicion

Severe Turbulence on Winnipeg Streets Leaves Dozens Injured

May 27, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Al Wiens, 41, had to warn his children in the backseat to brace themselves as they drove down a residential street on the way to church this weekend. “Turns out, it was pretty […]

Unger Suspicion

Balenciaga Releases New $2000 Shit-Covered Mennonite Rubber Boots

May 20, 2024 Andrew

SAN SEBASTIÁN, SPAIN Luxury Spanish fashion brand Balenciaga has just announced the release of what they call the “Menno Boot”, a farm-used rubber boot caked in cow shit. “And best of all, it’s only $2000,” […]

Unger Suspicion

King Charles Unveils Stunning New Portrait

May 15, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK In a ceremony earlier this morning, His Majesty King Charles III pulled back the curtain on his very first portrait since ascending to the throne. The image portrays the monarch in vivid detail. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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