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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Team of Industrious Amish Hired to Fix McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine

May 10, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish. “Actually, we’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Festival to Feature New Chilliwack Cover Band Called Abbotsford

May 9, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC They’re the hottest Chilliwack cover band on the circuit and they’re heading straight for the main stage at the Fraser Valley Mennonite Brethren Festival of Music and Arts this weekend in the Clearbrook […]

Unger Suspicion

Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Couple Who Never Left Resort for Even a Second Claim to Have “Visited Mexico”

April 4, 2025 Andrew

CANCUN, MEXICO Area couple Anne and Peter Bueckert were really excited to have an authentic Mexican experience this week, which is why they flew straight to Cancun, took the shuttle from the airport, and never […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year

March 22, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Millions of Canadians have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of beige season and its finally here. “I just love this time of year. The gravel, the stones, the garbage peeking out from under […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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