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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Gets All Her News From The Unger Review

July 28, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB “I don’t even know what’s happening until I see it in The Unger Review,” said Mrs. Brandt of Morden. “It’s basically the only news site these days without a paywall.” Paywalls, coupled with […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Most Famous People with Every Mennonite Surname

July 24, 2024 Andrew

Have you ever wondered who is the most famous person with your surname? No? Well, you’re just being humble, I suppose. And that’s okay. But for those Mennonites who have less-than-traditional views on this matter, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Desperately Hoping He Can Make it to Deacons Corner

July 20, 2024 Andrew

DEACONS CORNER, MB Area man Steve Froese, 41, was at a Fringe Fest performance by The Naked Mennonite this afternoon, when he realized he didn’t have enough gas to make it all the way back […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Watches 72 Consecutive Hours of Hoof Trimming Videos

July 18, 2024 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB It all started with one click on the Hoof GP and three days later Martha Dueck of Riverton was still there. “I don’t know what it is but I can’t stop watching,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Germans Excited for ‘Taylor Schnell’ Concert

July 11, 2024 Andrew

HAMBURG, GERMANY Local music fans are lining up outside the Volksparkstadion in Hamburg this afternoon to witness pop star Taylor Schnell. “Schnell! Schnell! Get on the train,” yelled train attendant Olga Kaiserbun. “All aboard for […]

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