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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Catfishes Dozens of Men With Notes in Church Mailboxes

June 23, 2018 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Catfishing, an online scam using false identities to win people’s trust for financial gain, has become a huge problem in recent years, with people across the globe falling prey. So far Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plastic Straw Ban Leaves Pacifist Mennonites Completely Defenceless

June 21, 2018 Andrew

BERNE, IN In recent weeks, cities across the country have banned plastic straws because of their environmental impact. While many are supportive of the idea, there has been some resistance, particularly from the nation’s 500,000 […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border

June 19, 2018 Andrew

WINDSOR, ON A Canadian Mennonite family has been detained at the Windsor-Detroit border this afternoon after the Canadian border officer spotted Mr. Friesen’s dirty rubber boots and suspected their might be a problem. “How long […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Incredible Mennonite Superpowers

June 19, 2018 Andrew

While any just ordinary Mennonite can drain a swamp, milk a cow, or shoe a horse, only a rare few have these amazing superpowers. How many do you possess? Teleportation: The ability of Mennonite moms […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Rush to Get Their Cars Outside During Hail Storm

June 15, 2018 Andrew

PETERSFELD, SK Mennonites across the region were in a panic to get their cars out onto the streets during the record hail storm last week. “With golfball-ball sized hail like that, how else can I […]

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