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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke

July 18, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC President Donald Trump has just approved the expenditure of $81 billion to construct a wooden fence along the border to keep Canadian smoke from entering the country. “They’re not sending their best smoke, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026 Andrew

This is real. I know, I don’t report real news very often. A good Mennonite would never purchase a vanity plate, but, hey, when you can get one for free, why not? I guess we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Mennonite woman descended AD Penner Park this afternoon to watch the local EMMC-EMC-MC slo-pitch tournament, but soon found they had to make a few adjustment to their attire. “Oba, I’ve experienced […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026 Andrew

BIRD’S HILL PARK, MB If you’re looking for tickets to the annual Vanapag Falk Festival, you are out of luck as the Falk Fest announced they were all sold out for the weekend. “Oba, Ruth, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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