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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Severe Turbulence on Winnipeg Streets Leaves Dozens Injured

May 27, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Al Wiens, 41, had to warn his children in the backseat to brace themselves as they drove down a residential street on the way to church this weekend. “Turns out, it was pretty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandfather Shocked to Discover He’s Actually Greek

May 25, 2024 Andrew

MENNVILLE, MB Area man Walter Dyck, 81, of Mennville took a trip into Winnipeg this week and was shocked to discover the word Opa! plastered all over the city’s Greek restaurants. “As soon as I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly

May 24, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Disappointed with the lack of rhubarb-flavoured options, diehard Bubly-drinker Evelen Sawatzky of Mitchell, Manitoba has taken matters into her own hands. “Basically I just gather all the run-off water after I’m done washing […]

Unger the Influence

City of Morden Ceases to Exist After Being Lumped Into Winkler Metro Area

May 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB The City of Morden is no more after being absorbed into the City of Winkler’s census agglomeration according to Statistics Canada. “They’re not even calling it Morden-Winkler or Winkler-Morden,” said Morden resident Arthur […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already

May 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local McDonald’s employee Sarah Buhler says she’s calling order number 2101 just one more time before she goes into the break room and just eats it all herself already. “Order number 2101. Your […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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