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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Movie Set in Winnipeg Accidentally Films in Summer

October 2, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg, Manitoba has been the setting of dozens of much-beloved indie films over the decades from Guy Maddin’s My Winnipeg and The Saddest Music in the World to Matthew Rankin’s Universal Language and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Circle the Earth For Next Two Months, Causing Mini-moon

October 1, 2024 Andrew

EARTH A Mennonite man will be circling the Earth for the next two months, causing what scientists are calling a “mini-moon.” “It’s not as large as the moon we usually see,” said Neil DeGrasse Tyson, […]

Unger Conviction

Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast

September 29, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Pastor Dan has been called before the church elder board this week after a particularly long-winded sermon led to the destruction of more than a dozen Sunday roasts this past weekend. “Mrs. Kroeker […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Consumes One Last Watermelon Before Switching to Pumpkin for the Next 8 Months

September 28, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Brandts of Winkler gathered at the Bethel Heritage Park this weekend to share the very last watermelon and Papsi of the season before they consume nothing but pumpkins for the next eight […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious New Condiment Perplexes Mennonite Diners

September 27, 2024 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB The Toews family of Greenland was sent into crisis mode this Friday evening after a jar of salsa was discovered on the table next to the farmer sausage. “I’m shook to the core,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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