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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Bart Simpson Calls Moe’s Tavern to Ask for ‘Anita Dyck’

July 5, 2024 Andrew

SPRINGFIELD A rare out-take from Season 1 of The Simpsons was discovered this week, which revealed a prank call that was just a little too risque to air in the early 90s. “Hello, can I […]

Unger & Thirst

Health Conscious Mennonite Woman Opts for ‘Diet Papsi’

July 4, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Agnes Epp, 71, has decided to make a few changes in her life, including reducing her sugar intake. “So that’s why I’ve gone over to the Diet Papsi,” said Epp. “Do […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds

July 3, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB The Driedgers of Rosetown have found a lucrative new way to save a bit of money – pickling their watermelon rinds. “With the amount my Stanley eats each years, we could be talking […]

Unger Suspicion

“Skibidi Toilet” Added to Oxford English Dictionary

July 2, 2024 Andrew

OXFORD, UK Intending to represent the diverse and sophisticated vernacular of the present generation, Oxford English Dictionary has added several new words to their pages include rizz, gyatt, mew, and, of course, skibidi toilet. “To […]

Unger Suspicion

Plane to Taxi All the Way from Toronto to Calgary

July 1, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A routine flight from Toronto to Calgary entered the 401 highway this morning and is now taxiing all the way to Calgary. “We boarded the plane at 1 o’clock and I decided to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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