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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’

August 24, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO  No one paid much attention to the sausage-stained doily the Kehlers have been using for centuries. Until now. Researchers recently discovered that the sausage drippings and pickle juice could date back to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Did You Know … The Plural of Pierogi is Pierogi

August 22, 2024 Andrew

VITA, MB The National Committee for the Proliferation of Proper Food Spelling has issued a friendly reminder to folks on the Canadian prairies that the plural of pierogi is actually pierogi. “It’s not ‘pierogies,’” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Mastercard Introduces New Dave Ramsey Themed Credit Card

August 21, 2024 Andrew

ANTIOCH, TN Trying to win over legions of Dave Ramsey followers to the supposed benefits of quick and easy credit, Mastercard has just released a new card with Dave Ramsey’s face on it. “It’s part […]

The Daily Bonnet

Radical Mennonite Woman Pairs Sausage with Potatoes

August 20, 2024 Andrew

DALMENY, SK In a radical departure from centuries of Mennonite tradition, area woman Ruth Plett, 51, decided to throw a ring of formavorscht in with the potatoes this Tuesday afternoon. “I didn’t feel like pinching […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Makes it Big on Broadway … Winnipeg

August 19, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG,MB It has been the lifelong dream of Altona’s Darren Loewen to make it on Broadway. Loewen caught the bug after playing Tevye in W.C. Miller Collegiate’s 1996 production of Fiddler on the Roof. “I’ve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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