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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village

June 22, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB Commissioner Gary Bettman was in southern Manitoba on Wednesday to announce the expansion of the NHL to Las Vegas, Nevada and also to the tiny Mennonite village of Neubergthal, just south of Altona. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Every Single Street in Steinbach to Go Under Construction Simultaneously…and Reverted to Gravel

June 22, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Construction crews are out in force in Steinbach, stripping the pavement from every single street in town at the very same time. “Once we’ve stripped the concrete off,” explained crew leader Paul Froese, […]

Unger Suspicion

Kermit the Frog Weighs in on Steinbach Pride Controversy

June 21, 2016 Andrew

ST. PIERRE-JOLYS, MB This July, Manitoba’s third largest city will host its first ever Pride march, which has presented the ultimate catch-22 for any southern Manitoba politician: show up at the Pride walk and be […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sloth Emerges Victorious in Mennonite Dance Competition

June 20, 2016 Andrew

ASUNCION, PARAGUAY The competition was fierce at the International Mennonite Dance-Off in Asuncion, Paraguay this past week. While Arturo Penner was able to hold his own through four rounds of competition, in the end it […]

The Daily Bonnet

Stay-at-Home Dad Severely Rebuked By Church Elders

June 19, 2016 Andrew

KRONSTHAL, MB Local Mennonite dad, Heinrich Loeppky, 29, has been reprimanded by the church elder board for staying home with the kids while his wife quickly stopped at the store for a few items. “There […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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