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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City

October 15, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY One of the nation’s top perfumers has just released a new scent, aptly called New York City, which is believed to be the first perfume to emulate the unmistakable musk of the […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Forces Husband to Watch ‘Marley and Me’ Yet Again This Weekend

October 14, 2024 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Area woman Anne Martin has big special plans for this Friday evening. “Let me guess, you want to snuggle and watch ‘Marley and Me’ for the 700th time?” said husband Bob. “Alright, fine, […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Celebrates 75 Years Under Construction

October 13, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Festivities were held in nearby Altona, Manitoba this week to commemorate 75 years of road work on Highway 75. “My father worked on this road, my grandfather worked on this road, even my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns

October 12, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local pumpkin farmer Ernie Wiebe, 53, is requiring customers to sign a waiver promising only to use his pumpkins to make pie. “I don’t want to see my pumpkins turned into Jack O’Lanterns,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Mennonite Man to Live ‘Rent Free’ in Another Man’s Head

October 11, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area man Dave Eby, 43, has just stumbled on an amazing new plan to avoid paying rent in the exorbitant southern Ontario housing market. “It all started in the church lobby with Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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