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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Committee Rules Non-Mennonites are Allowed to Laugh at Mennonite Jokes

November 11, 2024 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB A meeting was held at the Randolph Garage this past week to determine whether non-Mennonites are allowed to laugh at Mennonite jokes. The issue was raised after several city folks felt guilty about […]

Unger Games

Riders Fans in Western Manitoba Vote to Join Saskatchewan

November 10, 2024 Andrew

KOLA, MB A separatist movement had emerged in Western Manitoba, with many folks in that part of the province being Riders fans for some reason. “Well, yeah, you know, we basically live in Saskatchewan already,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale

November 9, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON After a hard day’s work on the tomato farm, local man Joseph Kroeker, 21, sat down for a nice relaxing ale this evening, only to discover his choice of beverage was not nearly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding

November 8, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Dozens of Harders and Dycks, along with their friends and churchmates, gathered in at the Swift Current EMB church this past weekend to witness the wedding of Christopher Harder, 23, and Brittney […]

The Daily Bonnet

Flat Earther Proves His Theory with Bibliography Full of Memes

November 7, 2024 Andrew

CORN, OK Mr. Billy Pauls of Corn, Oklahoma recently posted his “extensively researched and definitive proof” of his flat earth theory which contained a lengthy Works Cited page containing dozens of memes he found online […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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