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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

10 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Mennonite

June 22, 2017 Andrew

We all know the famous Mennonites like Olympian Cindy Klassen, Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall, and Kleine Gemeinde founder Klaas Reimer, but after extensive research, the Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of Mennonite celebrities that […]

Unger Games

Canadian Football League to Add Third Team Named ‘Rough Riders’

June 21, 2017 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK In an effort to expand their appeal in central Saskatchewan, the Canadian Football League recently announced expansion to Saskatoon for the 2017 season. The new team is to be known as the ‘Roughriders.’ […]

Unger & Thirst

Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water

June 21, 2017 Andrew

BLUMSTEIN, MB Decades after fluoride was controversially added to the drinking water of many English communities, the small town of Blumstein, Manitoba has become the first in the region to pump Wonder Oil into the […]

Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Prices Soar to Record Highs

June 20, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY When the New York Stock Exchange ended trading on Monday, the price of schmaunt fat closed at a record high of $123.21 a barrel, smashing the previous record of just over $115. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mormon Missionaries Find Mennonite Town ‘Totally Confusing’

June 20, 2017 Andrew

LANDSKRON, MB After knocking on doors in Mennonite country for the past two years, a pair of Mormon missionaries just can’t figure out why they’re not making more progress. “It’s baffling. We’re likeable, friendly guys, with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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