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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Rare Video Footage of an 80s Pop Legend Singing Hymn 606

October 10, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet has recently uncovered some very rare footage of the King of Pop singing “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.” The video was discovered in Mr. Horst’s attic, and was believed to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tings Oncle Johan is Tankful For This Year

October 9, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONCLE JOHAN KLASSEN Today is the Tanksgiving and the Pradja axed us to tink of all the tings what we’re tankful for. At first, I tought, oba, nay, it’s yust too difficult, but dan […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Offers Pedicures During Foot Washing Service

October 8, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A large Calgary Mennonite church has decided to expand the procedure at this Sunday’s foot washing service to include free manis and pedis. The church elders made the decision to tweak the traditional […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 50 Most Common Swiss Mennonite Surnames

October 6, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet doesn’t want to leave anyone out. After compiling a list of the most common Russian Mennonite surnames, there were numerous requests to make a Swiss Mennonite list. The problem was I didn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Seize Massive Stockpile of Knitted Hangers

October 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Seven Mennonite grandmas from Altona were taken into custody by authorities this Monday after a massive stash of knitted hangers was discovered in the lobby of the local MB church. It was the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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