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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Pastor Breaks Down, Admits Entire Sermon Was Just Fake News

November 23, 2017 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Pastor Johan Burkholder of South Elkhart Mennonite Church shocked the congregation on Sunday by admitting his entire six-week sermon series on the Book of Revelation was just “fake news.” “I’m sorry, I just […]

Unger Suspicion

A Glossary of Pennsylvania Dutch Profanity

November 22, 2017 Andrew

Believe it or not, there are times when even the Amish and Swiss Mennonites get frustrated. The wind might wreak havoc on your barn-raising plans, or Elder Hershberger might interfere with your courtship of Maria […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman to Listen to Nothing but the Boney M Christmas Album for the Next Six Weeks

November 21, 2017 Andrew

GARDENTON, MB Retired kindergarten teacher Leanne Hiebert, 61, started playing her Boney M Christmas Album last week Wednesday and plans to play it non-stop until mid-January. “I just can’t get enough of the ‘Mary’s Boy […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Hunter Bags Huge Sausage

November 21, 2017 Andrew

WHITESHELL, MB Avid hunter, Mr. Timothy Krahn, 36, of Kleefeld, managed to bag an enormous 800-pound farmer sausage in the Whiteshell this weekend. At 340 5/8 points, the farmer sausage is the highest-scoring sausage ever […]

Unger & Thirst

Generous Mennonite Couple Sends Used Tea Bags to Missionaries

November 20, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local couple Peter and Sally Wiebe have amassed a collection of more than 20,000 used tea bags that they plan to send to needy missionaries around the world this holiday season. The […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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