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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Rudy Wiebe Novel Shockingly Left Off Edmonton Banned Books List

September 5, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Edmonton book ban is turning heads this week after one glaringly obvious omission – Rudy Wiebe’s Peace Shall Destroy Many. “That book’s been banned in more or less every other community where […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Forced to Watch ‘Hymn Sing’ Before He Can Watch ‘Disney’

September 4, 2025 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Local 8-year-old Jeremy Goerzen threw the biggest temper tantrum in Tofield, Alberta history this weekend after his parents forced him to watch a complete episode of Hymn Sing prior to the Wonderful World […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Dumps Out Entire Crown Royal Bag Full of Scrabble Tiles

September 3, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Furious at Crown Royal for shutting down a bottling plant in southern Ontario, Premier Doug Ford held a press conference this afternoon where he emptied out an entire Crown Royal bag full of […]

Unger Suspicion

Man with Debit Machine in Hand Braces to Answer About His “Plans for the Rest of the Evening”

September 2, 2025 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area man Collin Penner, 41, recoiled in horror as he was handed the payment terminal at his local burger joint this Monday evening. “I tried to punch in the numbers quick and […]

Unger Suspicion

Saskatchewan “Highway” Really Just a Gravel Road

September 1, 2025 Andrew

SCHANTZENFELD, SK The Priebes of Swift Current, Saskatchewan were shocked to discover that a prominent highway between their city and the tiny darp of Schantzenfeld, was actually nothing more than a gravel road. This discovery […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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