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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Gentlemen’s Club Shockingly Bereft of Any Gentlemen

November 24, 2024 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Anthropologists were shocked to discover a complete lack of gentlemen at a so-called “gentlemen’s” club in an industrial park in Omaha this week. “Maybe it was just an off night,” said investigator Anne […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Successfully Convinces Husband to Leave the House

November 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After months of incessant requests, area woman Anne Peters finally convinced her husband Donald to leave the house and take her to Chuck’s Roadhouse or something for once. “That man has spent every […]

Unger the Influence

A Full List of Items that will be GST-free for Mennonites Over the Holidays

November 22, 2024 Andrew

Earlier this week, the federal government announced a GST break for several important items over the holiday. The Unger Review has compiled a list of the essential items that Mennonites will be able to purchase […]

Unger Suspicion

Phone Companies Reassure Canadians Exorbitant Bills Still Due During Postal Strike

November 21, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians breathed a sigh of relief this week after they found out their devilishly-high phone bills would still arrive at their doorsteps like usual. “Don’t you worry your pretty little hearts […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Can Finally Start Her Christmas Shopping Now That It’s Snowed

November 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This is the latest start to Christmas shopping ever for area woman Jessica Fehr. But there was just enough snow this week that Fehr was able to commence the journey. “Dietja,” said Fehr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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