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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Calgary’s Big Blue Ring To Undergo $63 Million Upgrade

August 27, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just a decade after it first graced the Calgary skyline, the city’s most popular tourist attraction is set to undergo a massive upgrade. “As it is, the Big Blue Ring just couldn’t keep […]

Unger the Influence

JD Vance Has ‘Cringey’ Visit to Mennonite Roll Kuchen Shop

August 26, 2024 Andrew

REEDLEY, CA Vice Presidential hopeful JD Vance stopped by in one of Reedley, California’s famous roll kuchen shops this week to pick up an order and win over a few voters. However, things did not […]

Unger & Thirst

KFC Implements New ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ Policy

August 25, 2024 Andrew

VAUGHAN, ON Of all the changes made to the KFC menu in recent weeks, by far the most significant was their new ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ policy. “If you want to have a good proper […]

Unger Conviction

Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’

August 24, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO  No one paid much attention to the sausage-stained doily the Kehlers have been using for centuries. Until now. Researchers recently discovered that the sausage drippings and pickle juice could date back to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Did You Know … The Plural of Pierogi is Pierogi

August 22, 2024 Andrew

VITA, MB The National Committee for the Proliferation of Proper Food Spelling has issued a friendly reminder to folks on the Canadian prairies that the plural of pierogi is actually pierogi. “It’s not ‘pierogies,’” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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