The Daily Bonnet
How to Be a Performative Mennonite Male in 5 Easy Steps
If you want to attract a Mennonite woman, say at CMU or SBC or CBC or Goshen College or FPU, etc. there are just a few things you’re going to need.
Articles by Andrew
The Daily Bonnet
Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling
OTTAWA, ON It’s the biggest scandal to hit the Carney government yet – spelling. In this case, Prime Minister Mark Carney sent out several memos in which he spelled everything in Plautdietsch. “And the worst […]
Unger & Thirst
All Steinbach Restaurants to Serve Nothing but Pizza from Now On
STEINBACH, MB “If there’s one thing Steinbach lacks, it’s pizza restaurants,” said local man Mr. Bueckert. “I mean, if I want to order pizza I need at least thirty or forty options rather than the […]
Unger the Influence
Liberals Just One Mennonite MP Away from Majority Government
OTTAWA, ON With several defections in the last few weeks, the Liberals are now just one Mennonite MP away from a majority government and, of course, they’re looking for MPs who might be receptive to […]
Unger Games
Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas
WINNIPEG, MB A shocking 5-1 win over Washington last night has really put a damper on the Winnipeg Jets’ plan of being at least as bad as Vancouver by Christmas. “We’re going to have to […]