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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It seems the so-called ceasefire in the Middle East lasted oh, about, three minutes, which world leaders claim is actually really good and just part of the plan. “The only way to achieve […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet

April 7, 2026 Andrew

SPACE Mr. Dave Thiessen, amateur plumber from Plum Coulee, has been sent into space this week to unclog the Artemis II toilet. “When my Mary saw that on TV she said, ‘oba, Dave, that’s a […]

Unger Suspicion

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL The Kehlers of Mountain Lake, Minnesota have set a new record this week in Disneyworld after managing to get on three whole rides during there week-long trip. “We got in line on Monday […]

Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

Unger Games

Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Rumours are swirling in Winkler this week after Chicago White Sox outfielder Tristan Peters became the first Mennonite ever and first Manitoban in almost twenty years to make to first base. The news […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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