NEWTON, KS
There was mass confusion and chaos in Newton, Kansas this afternoon after the name Mary Unrau was called for the raffle draw.
“I’m Mary Unrau,” said one woman. “No, I’m Mary Unrau,” said another.
It was a Spartacus-like experience, with Mary Unraus rising in their seats one after the other to claim the prize.
“Well, I guess we don’t really know which one of these Mary Unraus is the winner,” said raffle coordinator Mary Unrau. “I suppose we’ll just have to cut the prize into 8 equal pieces.”
However, that solution did not satisfy the participants as no one wanted just 1/8th of a lace doily.
“From now on we’re asking everyone to write down their middle name and home address,” said Mary Unrau. “And maybe your maiden name, too, yet.”
In other news, 8 Mary Unraus in the Newton area have been called before the church elder board on suspicion of gambling.