FRESNO, CA
Millions of Americans were visibly upset this weekend after they had to sit through the Super Bowl’s first ever all-Plautdietsch halftime show.
“Nobody understood a word of it,” said President Donald Trump. “It was all ‘schissjat’ this and ‘schmaunt fat’ that. Who knows what they were saying.”
The halftime show included performances by Pargayuan harpist Eduard Klassen and southern Manitoba’s own Heischraitja & Willa Honich.
“Not to mention a fashion show by TikTok star Dietsche Mejal,” said football fan Olga Sawatzky. “I was really hoping for Taylor Swift, but Marcela Ens will do.”
More than 30 million viewers watched the show, more than half of which now claim to be fluent in Low German.
(photo credit: Ted Eytan/CC)