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Month: January 2026

The Daily Bonnet

Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026 Andrew

NEW KLEETHAL, MB Despite a more than $75 million bribe paid to the local farm implements dealership to host the film, the new documentary about my Taunte Lina has proven to be a huge flop. […]

Unger Games

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Canadian provincial and federal leaders showed a united front this afternoon as they gathered in Saskatoon to see who was the better knipser. “Of course, Wab Kinew had a big advantage being from […]

Unger Games

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026 Andrew

SANTA CLARA, CA Area man Jake Loewen, 41, is really gearing up for the Super Bowl this weekend to distract himself from thinking about all the messed up things that have been going on lately. […]

Unger Suspicion

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB World-renowned climber Alex Honnold has just accomplished the greatest feat of his career—free soloing the credit union building in Steinbach. “No one ever thought it could be done,” said climbing enthusiast Steve Kliewer. […]

Unger the Influence

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A new report out of the nation’s capital this weekend suggests north is south, east is west, and up is down. “Rather than burdening each citizen with the arduous task of looking into […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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