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Month: May 2025

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Excited to Have a Brand New Pope to Disregard

May 8, 2025 Andrew

VATICAN CITY As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years. […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Woman Mentors Mark Carney on How to Bite His Tongue

May 7, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Gearing up for his first international visit to Washington, DC, Prime Minister Mark Carney took an intensive three week crash course in tongue-biting from someone who is a world renowned expert in the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime

May 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Who would win? 100 Mennonites or a Gorilla?

May 4, 2025 Andrew

It’s the debate that has taken the Internet by storm – who would win in a fight: 100 Mennonites or a gorilla? We took to the streets of Kleefeld to see what the people thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

Wedding Venue Offers 10% Discount During Manure Spreading Season

May 2, 2025 Andrew

SCHANZENBLUM, SK Schazenblum’s favourite former dairy farm/wedding venue is now offering up to ten percent off rentals if you’re willing to get married during manure spreading season. “Come one come all to Schanzenblum Acres,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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