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Month: July 2024

Unger Conviction

Biden Sends Thoughts and Prayers to “Former President Ronald Reagan”

July 13, 2024 Andrew

BUTLER, PA After being informed on the situation at the rally in Pennsylvania, President Joe Biden took to the stage to express his sympathy for “former President Ronald Reagan.” “I’ve been briefed on the situation,” […]

Unger Games

Bombers Fan Really Hoping for that Stunt Dog Halftime Show

July 12, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Neil Braun, 46, is really hoping he can get finally get some entertainment from the Bombers game this week and, thus, is anticipating “those cute dogs that run around the obstacle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Germans Excited for ‘Taylor Schnell’ Concert

July 11, 2024 Andrew

HAMBURG, GERMANY Local music fans are lining up outside the Volksparkstadion in Hamburg this afternoon to witness pop star Taylor Schnell. “Schnell! Schnell! Get on the train,” yelled train attendant Olga Kaiserbun. “All aboard for […]

The Daily Bonnet

“It was not what I was expecting”: Mennonite Man Disappointed with Hump Day

July 10, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Art Janzen was excited to experience his first Hump Day this week, but soon found out it was not what he was expecting. “I’m new to this whole marriage thing,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Residents Hooked on New Video Game ‘Pac-Mannanite’

July 9, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It’s taking the Pembina Valley by storm – Pac-Mannanite! The new video game, which was released as a table-top version and installed in coffee shops across the region, is so addictive that some […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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