The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: April 2019

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Returns His Empties

April 20, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After accumulating ten years worth of empties in his unfinished basement, local man Carl Toews, finally decided it was time to return them and get his 5 cent per bottle deposit. “Most Mennonites […]

The Daily Bonnet

Facebook Debate About ‘Eternal Security’ Results in the Condemnation of Millions

April 19, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB What started as an innocent conversation between a Mennonite and a Calvinist on “eternal security” quickly became the greatest mass condemnation of people since the Spanish Inquisition. “I just started off by posting a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Writes Cheque for 63 Cents

April 18, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Ruth Kehler, 76, didn’t have the cash with her to pay for the purchase of used margarine containers at Mrs. Wiebe’s garage sale. Thankfully, however, she had her credit union cheque […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Come Late to Church and Have to Settle for Front Row

April 17, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Driedgers of Saskatoon had a pretty hectic morning this Sunday when the toaster didn’t work, the hot water tank blew up and they just had to squeeze in a quick meddachschlop right […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Sneak In Quick Meddachschlop During Second Intermission

April 16, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Earl Klassen normally stocks up on beer and pretzels during the intermission, but for some reason tonight he felt compelled to flop down on the master bed and take a nap […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Assiniboine Park Zoo Opens Up New Mosquito Exhibit
    July 25, 2017
  • Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities
    January 7, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Super Excited that He Can Finally Attend Church in His Undies
    March 29, 2020
  • Salt Lake City NHL Team Unveils New Uniforms
    April 14, 2024
  • Vaccine “Lottery” Rebranded as Vaccine “Quilt Raffle” for Pious Southern Manitobans
    June 9, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved