The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: February 2019

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency

February 28, 2019 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Popular Mennonite minister Johan Schantz, 72, of Elmira, Ontario has been offered a two-year residency at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. The new show will feature sermons, communion, and a nightly […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Really Hoping ‘Everyone Is Way Too High to Notice Scandal’

February 28, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Knowing he was soon going to face the biggest scandal of his political career, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made sure Canadians “had a few months to get nice and toasted” before the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Throws Caution to the Wind, Puts Fine China in Dishwasher

February 26, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Brandt, 84, of Altona was sick and tired of having to hand wash the fine bone china she got on her wedding day in 1954 and has decided, after all these years, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture

February 25, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Under the leadership of controversial minister and self-proclaimed prophet Claas Epp, a fringe Mennonite sect from Southern Ontario has walked all the way from Leamington to Toronto to await the rapture. “My cousin […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats Over the Sink to Avoid Doing Dishes

February 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Neighbour lady Mrs. Fehr has reported Mrs. Loewen next door for “repeatedly eating over the sink.” Mrs. Fehr claims she witnessed such behaviour more than a dozen times over the past year while […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Steinbach’s Mary Browns Can’t Figure Out Which One of them Opened that New Restaurant
    May 22, 2020
  • Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill
    October 17, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts
    January 21, 2020
  • Kornelsen School Reunion Sparks Old Flames
    March 30, 2017
  • Local Man Drives 20 Miles Before Realizing McDonald’s Drive-Thru Didn’t Give Him Any Ketchup
    August 20, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved