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wedding

The Daily Bonnet

Rapture Occurs Just Before Newlyweds Have a Chance to Consummate the Marriage

September 10, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Every chaste young man’s biggest fear came true last night as Eric Dueck and Sarah Loewen were miraculously raptured just moments before they were able to consummate their marriage. “I just knew this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen-Friesen Wedding is Well-Attended by Local Friesens

September 8, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Hundreds of Friesens from throughout southeast Manitoba descended on the local EMBC church this past Saturday to attend the wedding of Benjamin Friesen and Anna Friesen (no relation). “I’m so excited to see […]

Unger & Thirst

Banquet-Goers Wowed By Yet Another Chicken Kiev Meal

July 3, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Long a staple of corporate banquets, graduation dinners, and wedding receptions, attendees at a Winnipeg retirement banquet on Monday were wowed by the impressive chicken Kiev dish they received. “When I looked down […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mother-of-the-Bride Insists on Having “The Talk” Moments Before Daughter Walks Down the Aisle

June 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After neglecting to say anything at all about the topic over the past twenty years, concerned mother Brenda Harms waited at the doors of the Steinbach Gospel Mennonite Church for her daughter to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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