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Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Finishes Dead Last in Olympic Breakdancing Competition

August 11, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO After a disastrous last place finish at Paris 20224, Team Mexico says this is the last time they will let a Mennonite woman onto the national breakdancing team. “I’m not sure what they […]

Unger & Thirst

French Pole Vaulter Signs Farmer Sausage Endorsement Deal

August 9, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE A mishap on the pole vault may have cost Anthony Ammirati a medal, but he’s more than made up for it in lucrative endorsement deals. Just this week, Ammirati inked a $12 million […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Disappointed She Didn’t Find Out About the ‘Hammer Throw’ Sooner

August 6, 2024 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Area dairy farmer Ruth Plett of Morris, Manitoba just discovered there was an Olympic event called “hammer throw” this afternoon after Canadians Camryn Rogers and Ethan Katzberg each came home with gold medals. […]

Unger Games

Olympic Village Modelled After Mennonite Heritage Village, Athletes to Sleep in Sod Huts

August 3, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The Paris Olympics just-so-happens to coincide with Pioneer Days at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach and, so, to give Olympians that authentic Mennonite experience, all athletes are expected to sleep in a […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms

July 31, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was a historic moment for the Canadian Olympic team this week as Rylan Wiens and diving partner Nathan Zsombor-Murray won a bronze medal. The moment did not go unnoticed by the folks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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