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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Pastors Make Statement With ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ T-Shirts

July 25, 2025 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Fed up with meagre salaries that barely pay the rent, Mennonite pastors across the nation have been sporting snazzy new T-shirts as a form of protest. “It’s bad enough he’s wearing such casual […]

Unger Conviction

Monsanto Buys Naming Rights to Mennonite Church

July 23, 2025 Andrew

FRIEDRICHSTAHL, KS With church funds at an all-time low, the Friedrichstahl Mennonite Church was desperate to fund their new church expansion. That’s why controversial agrochemical giant Monsanto decided, out of the generosity of their hearts, to step […]

Unger Conviction

Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan

January 10, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A travelling miracle worker who claims to be able to heal back aches and migranes with just the power of his touch and a little faith, is offering “the fine folks of Calgary […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Hates and Distrusts Billionaires Sure Loves Billionaires

January 5, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area man Pat Dyck has had a strong distrust of billionaires for quite some time now. According to his frequent Facebook posts, billionaires are always up to no good, cannot be trusted, and […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Pry His Hands from Skinny Jeans

October 25, 2024 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Billionaire Elon Musk is offering $1 million to anyone who is able to pry his hands from a particularly tight pair of skinny jeans he’s been sporting for the past year or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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